Good Morning everyone, happy birthday to me, so send me a million dollars or the winning š„ lottery numbers, your choice. I wish but do feel free to send me tips, videos and pictures. Not sappy shit, dicks, balls, and jizz. Sorry about not being super active yesterday but I had a day. Not a bad day, just a tiring day. One of those days that after you get home you just want to eat, watch tv, eat some more, maybe eat some more after that and then have a snack and go to bed. I actually did go out with some folks to eat and watched and listened as they had a few drinks. But I was just to tired to do more than that. Traveling does that to me, especially longer drives. Ft Lauderdale/Boca Raton isn't really that far, about 4 hours but far enough to wipe me out. Plus I had a super busy week down there.
Just a quick update for today, I drove home from Boca Raton this morning, about a four hour drive, took the dogs out to the swamps, they needed it, and now I am going to stuff my face with foods that come out of the deep fryer. Then I will probably fall asleep. Tomorrow is my birthday so say happy birthday or I will kick you in the balls.
Post 1 of 3: Hmm, I had to do the walk of shame this morning. I donāt why they call it the walk of shame. It should be called the stride of pride. Look, I had a dick in me, it may or may not have filled my interior with jizz. If a penis didnāt empty a load inside of me, then it was on me. For all I know, it could still be running down my leg. I call that a good night. As far as I know, most people want to cum. Most people want other people to make them cum. So why is it when chicks who have obviously been seriously destroyed by cock people ridicule her? Like they donāt want to be the one who had four orgasms all hands free, caused by someone else sticking their dick inside them. I do admit that I have been still dick dru..nk and wandered home like hobo. Not because of booze, I donāt drink, but the dick can make a girl woozy. If I cum hard enough and often enough, I may not get my legs back for a day. The old dick hangover, so to speak. I donāt know, people get prudish about fucking. I have had people get seriously awkward when the subject of sex arises. Especially if it has something to do with sperm. Apparently itās gross for a lot of people. Gross? Itās amazing, for fuckās sake! Maybe I think about it differently. When I am blowing a guy or fucking him, either one, it turns me on to know that I am going to make him give me a piece of his body. Fluid from his testicles is going to leave his dick because I made it happen. What was his, hidden in his testicles, is now mine, and itās inside of me. Plus, I like the way it smells, and the taste is quite unique. I find myself licking my lips now and then, thinking about it. When I see a good-looking guy, I have never seen or met before, the first thing that pops into my mind is sucking his cock. I wonder what his penis will taste like. How much cum will he give me? Will I be able to feel his jizz pumping when I squeeze his balls? I donāt know why, but sucking his dick is pretty much my icebreaker move. I think itās a win win for the both of us. Iām just saying here. This is my last post for the night. I got a lot to get done and I might be quiet for a bit tomorrow as I am traveling home. Basically doing the drive of shame I guess!
Hello everyone, itās Friday. I got a new toy last night. Itās large, itās battery operated, and it vibratesā¦. a lot. Every see that yellow sign, I think itās the slippery when wet sign with the car with the curvy lines behind it, like itās fishtailing? That is the sign I need up when Iām using this monster in the car. It will be appropriate as I will be slippery, wet, and I will be driving all over the road. Here is a little video I did last night and then after making the video I did it again and blasted my mind out of commission with it. So what Iām saying is I didnāt put it up. I was cum dru..nk. Another banned word. No, I donāt masturbate 24/7ā¦ but when I do; I hit that motherfucker like it owes me money.
You guys ask me a lot of questions and Iām OK with it. Some are just out of bounds, so I ignore them. Most are fine though. Most are about sex, lots about dating which I canāt discuss on here, others about all kinds of things. Mike wants to know, āHow do you know if a guy is a keeper?ā Thatās easy. If I havenāt seen my vibrator since I started dating him, heās a keeper. I more guy friends than I do girl friends, the whole friends with benefits thing. But I am probably a bad friend. If I werenāt so into the benefits portion of it, I might be a better friend. Doesnāt matter, the pussy gets what the pussy wants.
Flowers, I like them. I donāt why; I am not super girly when it comes to that stuff, but I do. Guys are easyā¦ and cheap. A blowjob is like a massive bouquet of flowers for men. I can remember hanging around with a very popular porn couple who I shall not name. It was Valentines Day, and he got her what he said was a small gift and handed her a small jewelry box. She blurted out that when he said he was giving her a small gift; she thought he was going to unzip his pants. I thought it was funny and laughed my ass off. What I didnāt know is that they hated each other and werenāt long for the world as far as being married was concerned. I found this out after he grabbed the jewelry box and stormed out of the house. Awkward. I did however eat her out for an hour while he was gone. Hey, donāt judge me, he didnāt want itā¦ I took it. His loss, my gain type of thing.
I swear the entire news industry is about as pleasant as an itchy butthole. I turn on hotel TVās and the news starts up. Itās the same bullshit it was two years ago, just different players. Not to dwell in the past but I mentioned on Twitter that 2020 felt like it took about 30 years to get through, and 2021 looks like it might take 31 years to complete. In comparison, the entire 90s decade went by in a week. That might be because I am pretty sure there wasnāt a day I didnāt have dick inside me, if not two. We need another 90s decade and fast. Just saying.
See you all in a few hours or so, I got more to post today!
So, I finally got a good dose of BBC. Thank goodness, itās been a while. I have been eating to much white meat lately, I was over due for some dark. I look good with a black dick in me, I just do. I feel good with a black dick in I know that much. So let me be clear. I came on this cock. I donāt what happened. As soon as the head of his dick started pushing on my pussy lips, boom. I came. As soon as I started cumming, he started stroking. I tried to hide it; it was kind of embarrassing, but thatās hard to do. Cum face just happens. Guys get an attitude when they make me cum fast. Like they are king of the pussy. At that moment, they are king of the pussy, so who am I to deny them the crown? My point here is his penis took charge of my vagina and thoroughly whipped it into shape. Fuck me, I got chills thinking about it! Anyway, enjoy the pics. Itās all I have of the excellent fuck his dick put on my pussy.
I am getting tons of DMās about fan fucks. Some of you get answered, some of you donāt, depending on how you word your questions. Some questions insinuate certain things and that is a no no on here. So you either get a flat no or no answer at all. Rule of thumb. If Iām not advertising it on here, itās not available from here. Iām not advertising anything on here, so that should basically answer your question. Donāt get me wrong, I am not offended; I am simply following OnlyFans rules. I have pretty much dedicated OnlyFans as my only platform to post my porn, set up cam shows, make custom videos, sext, answer Dmās. Thatās it. Anything else is not available from here. How do I cast people for my porns? I do all of that from Twitter and Instagram, not here. Itās brooketylergg on either one. There. We cleared that right up didnāt we? Moving on.
My friend has broken up with her new boyfriend. I have never met him I have no idea who he is. They have only been going out for three weeks. He admitted to cheating on her with 4 different girls. She was very upset. It made me chuckle. She said it would be so funny if it was me being cheated on. To which I replied, I wouldnāt even be mad, Iām impressed he went through a total of 5 chicks in less than a month. I need to meat this guy. Get some tips.
I am just going to say this. If you have never had a steel hard dick just sit inside you, not moving, so you can feel the pulse of his heart in his dickā¦ while itās in your gutsā¦ you havenāt lived. I donāt know. Sometimes that feeling when a steel hard dick slowly but smoothly slips inside for the first time and spread your insides to make room for itā¦ that might be better. Hard to say. Iāll think about, test drive it a little, get back to you.
Have a great night everyone!
Good Thursday morning, everyone. Getting my day started. Someone told me to be good. Be good? Fuck, Iām never good, but I am damn good at being not good.
I realized I hate arguments on the computer. Everyone thinks they are dropping the biggest got ya lines everā¦ at least in their own mind. I reiterate this point for those of you who havenāt learned yet. If you think you are the smartest person in the roomā¦ you are not. Always remember that. I like to argue it out in person. No matter how bad Iām losing, all I have to do is start playing with my boobs. I win every time.
I donāt know why some guys get upset when a girl uses toys. No, itās not an insult to your manhood, they are simply tools to make me cum so hard I am nothing but a mindless piece of fuck meat with huge tits. Especially vibrators. What the fuck guys? It makes my clit shake uncontrollably. Your dick aināt going to do that. Can I cum without a vibrator? Of course I can, I do all the time. Can a vibrator make my orgasm that much better? You better believe it. Slip a fat hard penis in my guts and smash my mini chick dick with a vibrator and your dick is about to go for a ride. Get cum on my clit and then put a vibrator on itā¦ stand back boys, I am about to blow. Now, I do masturbate from time to time with just a vibrator. Well, maybe more than just a few times, but you get the point. I do cum but with just a vibrator alone it is basically just a tide me over orgasm. Itās not the fuck me stupid orgasm I am looking for. Sure, I can add a dildo, any size I wish, and it will make it more intense. But still just a tide me over orgasm. Not that Iām complaining. I am beyond grateful to nature for providing me with the means to finger myself silly. But nothing takes the place of a penis. The way it feels, the heat, the pushing around inside of me. Plus, there is no substitute for sperm. I guess if you have never felt a load of spunk drooling out inside of you and sitting there, hot and warm, in a pile that you can feel, you wonāt understand. Itās overpowering, I lose track of my senses. So quit your worrying about chicks and toys. I love it when a guy asks me if I have toys. Oh, do I, I have toys aplenty. Letās get this party started, Mr!
I remember one time a boyfriend started yelling at me when I came from getting fucked by his co-worker. He was having a meltdown that I cheated on him, and he got even madder when he saw I was more bewildered by his ranting than being caught. He asked if I was sorry for making him so upset. I said, ānot at all, itās your fault for spying on me.ā The only guy that ever tried to smack me. He missed. I ended up staying with his co-worker for a week and texted my ex pictures of me with his co-workersā cum on my face. Oddly enough, it was my apartment, but I had to wait for him to get out. He left holes in the wall. I think it took me an hour to patch and paint them. He still looks at my Instagram stories to this day. I know this because when you look at someoneās Instagram story, not the posts but the stories, it tells you who is looking at it. Wonder why he looks?
About exās. Sometimes your ex is just better in bed than your current fuck. It happens. But you like your current BF/GF so you look past itā¦ till you donāt. So you text your ex, ask him if would like to leave a load of jizz in your ass and you proceed to get said load of jizz placed into your rectum. All is good. Sure, your ex will always be your ex, but his penis doesnāt have to be. I donāt look at fucking your ex as cheating. I look at it as a throwback moment. Donāt give me shit about being faithful. I am fiercely faithful to all four of my boyfriends. Just saying.
Catch you all a bit later!
Alright guys, time for some photos. I wasnāt going to use these; I took them the day before yesterday and thought who wants to see my bedroom and all the crap in it. Plus, there are the dogs. I am not a fan of shoving pets in peopleās faces so they have to say āhow cute!ā in the fakest possible way. My hounds arenāt cute. They are manly dogs. Even though I donāt have a set of testicles, I still like having manly dogs. How are they manly, you ask? They are flexible like rubber and have assasinated things. Not that Iām a fan of that, but when in the swampā¦ all is fair. Turkeys should learn to not only run faster but take flight faster lest they become puppy chow. Anyway, the pics. I snapped these because I wanted to send some pics to a fan here on OnlyFans to his phone. I sent him other ones. I should have sent these. I personally dislike photographic artistry. Just snap the fucking picture and throw it up. I want to see tits, ass, dicks, balls, all in sharp focus and not filtered plastic smooth. Everyone wants to be a model these days. I asked a girl who was a bit shitty about my profession the other day what she does for a living and she said āModel.ā I was like, do you have an agent and all that? She was like no, she modeled on Instagram and Facebook. I was like you can do that? I thought you just put pics up for people to see. She replied no, she was a serious model, she had like 87K followers on Instagram. I was like hmm. I didnāt want to be a total dick and tell her I have like 570K followers, so I left that out. But I proclaimed that I was a professional soldier. She was like āyeah right, my dad was in the Army, what branch are you?ā I said Call of Duty 4 Branch. She looked confused, so I explained, if you can be a model by posting on Instagram then I can be a professional soldier on Call of Duty. Right over her head. She didnāt get it. So I told her to look my profile up on Instagram and she shut up. I am not a model. I take photos, as well as videos, and I am doing bizarre sexual things mostly when I take them. Still, unless there is a dick to be inserted inside someone, I am not qualified. Add a penis and Iām there. I am a porn model, I suppose. But I have picked a legitimate team. I make money at it, therefore a professional. You canāt just say Iām a professional model because you let any ding dong with a camera who calls themselves a photographer take pictures of yourself. Who pays Instagram models and why? Donāt hit me with chicks like Kim Kardashian, I get that. Plus, she is in every publication known to man. This girl is not Kim Kardashian. Sheās hot. If she wasnāt such a dick, I would lick her till she goes from wet to flooding. And if IG modeling is such a top-notch position, why is she almost thirty and residing with her grandma? Iām ranting, time to quit.
I had a guy I sucked off today try to get out the door without fucking me. I get it, he had places to be but no fricking way Mr. We got that dick hard again and inside of me in record time. You get yoursā¦ better believe Iām getting mine! Look, it was a good dick. I wanted that dick inside of me. I had fun blowing it and got carried away and had a thick liquid lunch. Doesnāt mean you canāt drop another sticky pile of sperm inside my box, though. Even if itās a smaller load, a dab will do her. And he accomplished just that and before I knew it I was doing thirty seconds of jerking around and making bizarre cum faces. Gave me that āI just got fucked goodā glow for the rest of the day! I am rambling so I am going to end it here. Catch you all later
Have fun, be safe, jerk it if you got it!
Brooke
I got so busy trying to get out of the house and head South to Ft Lauderdale/Miami that I forgot to post this one up. Catch you all in a bit! @u125291845
Good Monday, everyone! Hope all is going well. You get to see the aftermath of the serious dick down I took this morning. Anyone who adds $30 or more to the campaign will get a free custom video, made just for you today, delivered today. So get on it boys! I wish I could film the whole thing but nobody around to do it. This will be hard post to type out, I can still feel his jizz swimming around inside me doing it's thing. Makes my chair a slip and slide. I know I went mostly dark yesterday, but I had a busy day and once in a while I just need to take care of myself. āMyselfā being my box, pussy, vagina, whatever term you would like to use. So today you get the play-by-play on rerun. @u125291845
First things first, I love that face that guys make when they unload a nut sack full of sperm inside me because they either couldnāt or wouldnāt pull out in time. They still have that doped out look on their face but add a little shock to it and thatās the face you make. Yes, my vagina has the power to override your moral sense not to breed with me. Too late though, your testicles arenāt all sucked inside of you because they're cold. They are shoved up in there from emptying themselves deep into my guts. I like to fuck with some of them. Yesterday I said to him, āI can feel your jizz making a baby already!ā He looked terrified and told me how he was married, already had kids, blah blah blah. I let him off the hook. As most of you know, a hysterectomy took that ability away from me many, many years ago. Best thing I ever did. I can have all the weird fantasies I want about guys breeding me, actually act them out, and never get the enormous belly. Unless of course itās a gang bang and I get filled up with so much jizz I get a sperm belly. I wish that would/could happen. Get so much cum inside of me, I gain two pounds. I would leak it out of me for a week. Probably forever because I would keep going back for fill-ups. Man, I have a bizarre sexual imagination. Oh well, you only live once and whatās a little sperm in my insides amongst friends? Either way, the cum I have right after a guys splashes my innards with his jizz is unbelievable. Iām sure that is what attracts me so much to semen. I swear when I cum like that it starts in my head and I can feel it just wash all over bodyā¦ for about thirty seconds. Almost scary how strong it is. Fuck I love my body and the things it can do to me.
So, I fucked this guy yesterday. Obviously he was married. Again, if you have a problem with that, take it up with him. I am not in charge of the moral police, and it isnāt my responsibility to keep anyoneās husbandās penis out of any orifice of my body. I justify my use of any womanās man as a simple event. I used his dick, left it in better shape than when I found it, and sent it home for them to use or not use in any way they wish. I am not going on romantic dates with him. He does that goofy shit with you. I may the slut, whore, whatever, but just remember, Iām the one heās thinking about when his dick need attention. There is a reason for that, figure it out on your own. Anyway, moving on. I was horny yesterday, wanted to breed, and he answered the text. He came to my house; we fucked. It went on for about an hour. We goofed around quite a bit. Got into a measuring thing. He said his dick was 7 1/2 inches; I was like no, no itās not. So I got my fabric measuring tape, and he measured it and sure enough it was 7 1/2 inchesā¦ from the underside back to his balls. Nope, canāt measure it like that. Only what can get inside me can be measured. From the top, the base of root to tip of the head. Just shy of 6 inches. The width was 2 1/4 around. Literally, a perfect penis. But being a guy, he had to add length to make himself feel better. You guys put too much stock into porn. Why is it the perfect penis? Because I can do everything with it, thatās why. I can suck it to the base and lick the balls at the same time, and I can send that fucker straight up inside me to the hilt in any position, and it still gets far enough to hit the important spots. I can bottom his dick out to the root inside my ass. All things I canāt do with 10 inch dicks. Yes, big dicks have their advantage and I will never quit craving to have one touch where nobody else can. But I will never quit craving the feeling of dick buried to the hilt in my ass, dumping sperm in my colon. So, depending on the day, I will normally choose 8 inch and under wangs. Again, depending on the day and who the penis happens to be attached to helps determine the desire. So, we got the correct measurement, and we were off to the races. I jerked him, sucked him, fucked him on top, from behind, on my side and was on the edge of cumming. I was waiting till he emptied his nut into me to push me over the edge, but the bastard pulled out. No, he didnāt cum. He wanted to have me get on my knees and suck his sperm out of him. He had a specific position and scenario in mind, so he had been thinking this out. I was like, what about my vagina? Who is going to fuck it stupid? He said he would make me cum no matter what. I gave in. I was kind of turned on about taking a load of nut down my throat, so on my knees I went. I sucked it to the root, licked his balls for a few seconds and boom, he blasted sperm straight down my gullet. I kept my tongue flat on the underside of his balls and could feel that little muscle or whatever it is in there pumping away. I like when I keep a dick all the way down my throat and make it cum. Itās easy just start swallowing while itās all the way back there. More dicks have lost their nut that way then not. So it must me good. Anyway, I almost came from thatā¦ almost. But I didnāt dammit. I wanted to, I really like to cum from sucking jizz out of balls but it just didnāt get over the edge this time. Closeā¦ but no cigar. So I made him lick my ass while I used a vibrator on my clit, which was massive. Took me about 2 minutes and my pussy went off like a bomb. Overall, a good solid fuck session. Had sperm heartburn for the rest of the day, but I am more than OK with that.
Itās good to be old. I get to do anything I want with dicks, pussies, whatever, with no guilt, shame, or any of that other bullshit they try to instill in people about sex. Nothing but pure enjoyment. I am having the time of my life sexually and have no plans to slow down.
Friday it isā¦ my most likely to get laid day, and it is looking like itās going to hold true to that assertion. Excuse the big words, I donāt even know if I use them correctly. What is going on today? Who knows. I plan on getting seriously impaled by penisā¦ so there is that. Other than that, who knows what the day may bring.
I keep getting pics from different guys on Twitter. Dick pics, that is. Now, as most of you know, I donāt mind getting dick pics. You like getting tit and pussy picsā¦ and so do I, as well as dick pics. I am obviously a fan of the penis, so why in the world would it would upset me at seeing them? Ironically, tons of chicks are offended. The real reason it offends them is their goofy boyfriends/husband/agent runs the account for them. Neither here nor there. Back to the pics of dicks. I keep getting pics of the most magnificent penisās possibly on the planet. The same three or four pics I have gotten a thousand times since 2012, when I first logged on to Twitter the first time. I call this āCockFishing.ā What do they think is going to happen if I ever were to meat them and they dropped their pants and out pops what is glaringly obvious a penis that was not in the pic? I am certainly not just going to overlook that fact. In fact, I would put it right back away and be on my way. Social Justice Warriors sound off. Tell me how mean that is. I mean, he only lied and cheated a little bit. Whatās the big deal? Big deal is he lied and cheated his way to meat me. I wasnāt after his personality or his looks, I was after the perfect penis and what they advertised was substituted for a vastly inferior product. I choose to take my business elsewhere. My business being my severely disappointed pussy. Anyway, not like it would ever get that far. Again, like I said, I have seen these same three or four dick pics a million times over the years, but I guess the people sending them to me have just discovered them. They do not know that I discount them as āCockFishā perpetrators and move along.
People want me to be the other women for them. They want to cheat on their significant other with me. Bad idea. I tire quickly of all people, both guys and girls, and before you know it Iām cheating on you and you now no longer have a wife or girlfriend to go back to. I often tell people donāt dump your wife or girlfriend until you know itās exactly what you want to do because I wonāt be in the picture for very long. If I am involved in long term relationships itās because they know I am not exclusive to them. I might cancel our date to fuck someone else.
Here is a quick hint to see if we are even remotely compatible. If you wonāt fuck me in the bathroom at your parentsā house after being invited over for dinner, then I will probably get bored quickly. We can always cum up with an explanationā¦ or better yet, is an explanation really needed?
A few months ago, a fellow I have known for a long time accused me of seeing him only for his money. First, I didnāt even know what he did for a living, if he told me I forgot. Second, if he has money I never knew it nor suspected it. Mostly because I didnāt care. Third, the only reason I kept seeing him was for his penis. I was falling in love with both his dick and his testicles. His dick was just long enough, just fat enough, and his nuts pumped out the most gracious loads of sperm my insides could desire. Him telling me that made me lose interest in his penis. I was never interested in him, probably why I didnāt know he has lots of money. Since I lost the desire for his dick, I lost desire to see him. Heās back. My vagina is kind of sloppy thinking about his dick and would love to get a sperm slurpee from it. Should I? Shouldnāt I? Fuck it, my box wins. Iām gonna do terrible things to that mans cock with my vagina. When it gets done with it, his testicles will be raisins and his dick will be shrunk to the size of a baby carrot. If he mentions money, I am going to make him pay off my mortgage.
I will keep you posted on further events of the day and this weekend so stay tuned!
A video and a few pics to start the day. The fact that I am wearing KC Chiefs pants and yet live across the way from Tampa is not lost on me. I figure they were good enough to make it to the SB so they are good enough to wear their pants. Plus I dig the colors. Anyway the no face filter is on but it beats the alternative š¬
Just got back from tromping around the swamp, fricking 87 degrees out and humid. I know, all you folks caught up in the cold ā and šØ snow want to š me in the nose. Last thing you want to hear is me yacking about sweating my ass off but I am doing it anyway ā¤ļøš
Sorry I haven't been super responsive this afternoon on DM's I will answer all of you and take care of your tips as well, just bear with me. Most of you know I am spot on when it comes to replies and such...just having a day if you know what I mean!
A few pics from today so check them out. I need to write some stuff out but I am stuck like chuck doing crap. I have to go all the way back to Walmart to pick up all the stuff I forgot to get today while I was already there. About the only thing I got done today were these pics. Oh well, at least you know I'm not selling you old and outdated shit. These are straight out of my new phone, the Galaxy S21 Ultra. Phone cameras are getting better and better!
Post 1 of 2: Good evening, everyone. I know it's cold around the country and these are the only pictures I have that are recent, as in with a month, and kind of have a cold weather theme to it. Doing winter stuff is kind of hard when it's mid 70s outside. I know, rubbing it in but anyway, these will have to do!
I got stiffed on the stiffy pics and I am pretty sure I am not going to get them. Lesson learnedā¦ again. But fuck me once, it was fun, fuck me on the pics and that will effectively end any future fuckingā¦ thatās my motto. Moving on.
Apparently a lot of guys think they want a freaky bizarre girl in the sackā¦ till she is fondling your junk in the supermarket. Then you just want her to hold your hand. Up the game boys, up the damn game. Where did all this cuddling shit come from? Who wants to fucking cuddle? Iāll cuddle, but your dick is going to be inside me. Man, I was a chick before my time. I was more into actual fun shit like guns, jeeps, swamping, and fucking than most guys were. I was doing that shit before it was cool. I think it makes the sex better being like that. Iām like your best friend, except occasionally I want your dick to rearrange my guts. Then afterwards we can eat crap food till we canāt walk. Just saying.
Working out provides several benefits on top of making you healthier. After a good hard workout, I want several things. In this order:
1: I want your penis.
2: I want food.
3: I want more of your penis.
So, what have we learned here? Working out makes you hungry and not just for food. That may be why I have banged so many guys from the gym. I am primed and lubed after a good workout, ready to hit the dick with a heavy beat down if you know what I mean. Thirsty after a workout? Best remedy for a dry mouth is a wet pussy. Just saying.
Someone asked me what I do if a guy cums to fast when we are getting our freak on. Nothing. I do nothing. I figure it isnāt his fault that I have kick ass pussy that can drain a cock in seconds flat. I just have to remember to turn the drain the testicles mode down to mild the next time. It happens. Best to get it out of the way right up front. That way I have plenty of time to work on round two. If you nut instantly in round two, you better be prepared to settle into a long session where your ears will connect with my thighs. I will get mine, I assure you of that. I donāt show up to a good fuck to go home without a good cum. That is my answer and I am sticking to it.
I donāt want to have to do it but guys these days seem to want to hang around after their scheduled dick appointment. Not sure whatās going on. I need to put a sign over my bed that says āCum and go. No loitering.ā You got 15 minutes of small talk while we clean up but then out the door you go. I got chicken wings to make, I donāt like sharing, and I got shit to do. People hanging around screws that up. I am not a cuddle kitten. I donāt care about touchy feely things. I am not a therapist, nor am I wanting to express my emotions. So if you donāt want me to give you the weird stink eye lookā¦ pack it up, shoes on, out the door. Schedule you soon for another dick appointment.
Good dick slingers are getting harder to find these days. There used to be solid dick slingers everywhereā¦ now not so much. I remember when guys just wanted their dick sucked, and that was it. I was the one who wanted to suck it till your testicles looked liked dried raisins and my skin looked great because I drank all of your man jizz. Now they want to know what my interests are. I am interested in sucking your dick, or at least I was, but then you went all Oprah on me. Just saying.
Someone wants to hire me for an office job. A fucking office job. Wantās to know if I can work well with a team. I donāt knowā¦ does a gang bang count as working with a team? I can drive a train, I do know that. Some of you will probably be thinking, āOMG! How cool, she can actually drive a train!ā You would be wrong, mostly because you are wrong on what kind of train I am actually driving. No, I am not working in an office with normal people. Buy me a bullet and rent me a gun. I am whacked in the head after all these years of getting slapped in the face with a dick. You have no idea of the shit I am prone to saying. I donāt do it on purpose, it just comes out. My filter is broke.
I need to get fat. That is the comment of the day. I actually hear it quite often. If I get fat, I will get more popular. The most popular models on Twitter are fat, I should be like them. Thatās the carrot they are dangling. Lol, go fuck yourself. What can I do that they canāt do? Live past 45. Put my shoes on without wheezing. Run faster than the fat chicks who are chasing me. Look, live the way you want and Iāll live the way I want. I could not care less who is skinny, who is fat. My best friend in the world has a gut. I would disappear with him if he would let me. He wonāt but that is for another post. I will not get fat for the sake of gaining any popularity. Strange request that I wouldnāt even address if I didnāt get more than just a few. Why wouldnāt you just go to the fat chickās OnlyFans? Why try to convert me into a marshmallow? I wonder if these āheavier womenā get requests to look fit? I am thinking not. Sure, they get hate mail, I get tons of it myself, we all do. The difference is there is zero fucks given on my end about it. I get a good chuckle at most of it.
Actual comment on Twitter with actual response.
ābrooke baby all I luv U I be hold ur hands an ur shoulder 2 cry inā
Shoulder to cry in? did you mean on? Who wants a shoulder to cry on? More like a dick to ride on Mr. Get it right.
Where they come up with this shit is anybodyās guess. Why do I want my hand held and for what reason do I need a shoulder to cry on. Why am I crying and therefore need a shoulder to cry said tears on? Is there something he knows that I don't? Is he planning on murdering my dogs or something? Who knows.
Hello everyone, hope your Monday is going well, mine, not so bad. I didnāt get the pics and videos yet. He hasnāt been able to break free yet. He couldnāt get away yesterday as the race ran well into the late hours last night. But I do have this video with his brother, another story for another time, that will have to due until then. He isnāt as big, but I bet itās a solid 8 or 9 inches of fun. Actually, I prefer his brotherās penis over his. I used to beg his brother for a taste of his dick all the time. Too bad he moved, I would still beg to drink his cum. @u125291845
The details as they happened on Saturday. I met him at his RV, and itās an extremely nice one, and we did the usual small talk. Neither of us were there to talk though, so it didnāt last long before I was removing his very large penis from his pants. Itās too big to really suck, but I tried and he didnāt want me to stop. His dick got so hard it was standing perfectly straight out. I mean level straight. I flicked it a couple times to watch it bounce and right back to level it went. It usually leans down, so I was pretty happy about that. I was a little worried though, as long as it is and with no flex, that thing was going to be chest deep inside me. He kept telling me to keep rolling his balls with my hands while I blew him and announced he was going to cum. I stopped and said no fucking way, itās going inside me but he promised he could do just that but wanted to cum in my mouth. I broke down and continued, mainly because it sounded hot and I was pretty excited about letting him fill my belly with sperm. So I massaged his balls and worked his dickhead with my mouth and tongue and when his balls tensed up and started jerking around, I put as much of that fat dickhead in my throat as I could and felt him empty his warm nut down my gullet. His balls literally shrank. I do not know how much semen I consumed because it all went down my throat as soon as it left his dick. But his balls indicated it was quite a bit. I never let his dick leave my mouth. It shrank down to the point I was licking his balls as I was sucking him. Five minutes of that and it grew back to where I could barely get the head in again. I climbed on top and sank down till my clit was touching his pubes and ground around. It is so long that it literally pushes the air out of me. I get short of breath when itās all the way in. I can feel it bottoming out and pushing stuff around inside of me. It is a bit uncomfortable at first but like getting fucked in the ass, give it time, it turns into something wonderful! The thing that makes a very large and long penis desirable is mostly the visual aspect. It just looks good. It feels good to hold. It touches places inside of me that rarely ever get touched, and that is a recipe for turning me into a brainless fuck slut. I literally donāt even know what Iām saying or thinking. All I want is that cock to be my owner. I am literally the property of a manās penis. I will do anything it wants when I reach that point. I donāt even remember what happened, to be honest. I remember riding it, then bending over the bed while he fucked from behind till he came inside of me. I came continuously the entire time and when his testicles let loose another load inside of me; I think I came to passing out; I came so hard. After a few minutes of me getting my wits about me, we both laughed. He was doing goofy shit as much as I was, but who gives a shit. Itās amazing what our bodies can do. No drugs or booze required. So yes, the sex was great.
What is the downside, you ask? It destroys my box. Itās a massive black hole that no normal penis would dare enter. Though it seems back to normal today. Walking bowlegged is not a joke. That really happens. Embarrassingly, I queef from sucking air in the canyon that is my vagina. And it stays in a perpetual state of arousal. Which means I am a slip and slide down there constantly. I couldnāt of had sex yesterday if I wanted to, thoughā¦ and I wanted to. Repeat sessions with monster cocks too soon can be painful. You need to leave a week or so in between shags. So all of you wishing you had a monster cockā¦ thing again. Stick with the 5-8 you probably have, I much prefer that size. Most of the time. Sometimes I just want a massive dick to do terrible things to my pussyā¦ but not all the damn time! If only dicks were detachable. You could have your daily dick, the mid size one, the pussy buster, the extra large one, and the tiny one for those occasions I just want to make fun of it. I do like making fun of tiny dickās. I like the humiliation factor and watching it cum even though I am giving it a massive mind fuck. I think I would probably take a tiny dick session over a huge dick session more often than not. Mental cums are way more intense most of the time. Just saying.
Anyway, enough about all this stuff. I will get my hands on the video and pics and put them up as soon as I can so watch for it. Enjoy the clip of his brother in the meantime!
